No Escape This Time- Sitting Through the Breakthrough

"Letting go and saying goodbye are two of the hardest things we have to do in life. Either willingly or unwillingly."

***

    She says goodbye to people, places and things that are attached to older outdated

versions of herself. Is a phase of Awakening to one's true self. During this time transitions

must take place, new ways of being, new ways of thinking and also new ways of

responding to situations that may have consistently rocked you to the core. Sometimes it

takes our hearts longer to accept what the mind already knows. We have to take the time

to listen.

    Letting go is not easy, especially when it’s something we thought would last forever. We

created stories in our mind of how it was supposed to work out by any means necessary.

We calculated the risk and tried to put correct preparations in place to minimize the fail

rate. Then when the end comes despite all our efforts, it is as if time stops, and parts of

reality begin to shatter. Thus leading us inward to our deepest and sometimes darkest self;

the self we had and may even see as weak. This time we cannot hide from it.

    As the and thoughts push pass our hard walls of control with great intensity. We allow it

for some time, but then we judge ourselves for not being unbothered and not “ moving

on” fast enough. We believe we need to become unrecognizable in six months however, it’s

taking us six months to accept whatever has happened. Then we feel the anger creep in.

The anger towards what happened, anger towards the other person, the circumstances,

and lastly ourselves. We discover that sometimes anger is easier to carry than grief.

    Believing that anger is powerful and shows strength and grief is weak, exposing our

vulnerabilities. In a whirlwind of pain mixed with anger and grief, escape from ourselves

feels necessary. We feel as though I need to get as far away from this feeling as possible.

Over indulgence in all things pleasurable becomes the course of action. It's not until we

stop trying to escape and sit with the uneasiness is where the breakthrough can happen.

We discern the opportunity to rewrite our story and reframe the narrative in a healthy

way.

    

    Most of the time we saw the impending signs leading to the ending but did not want to

accept it by thinking we could change things if we just x, y, and or z. All in an effort to

keep our reality from crumbling before us. So we make excuses and try harder though the

more we try, the more the ending becomes inevitable. Fear consumes us and holds our

minds hostage because whatever it is that has become a part of our architecture, so to

lose it is to lose a part of ourselves. Here is where I tell you we have to lose old parts of

ourselves in outdated realities.

    Out with the old and in with the new; new wine and new wine skin. It is an older version

of ourselves that connected us to the [insert whatever noun] fits your story. During that

time, life happened and we grew and we learned new ways of being and doing as part

of our individual evolution. We have to become lighter. When we wrap our identities

of who we are to the people, places, and things, that’s when an internal crisis

happens with its’ ending, who am I without this? How will I move forward?

What will I do next? When will I find something else?, and lastly, why did this happen?

    

    When we face hard questions and ask why, we go deeper and deeper and it can be

scary at first because it is a solo journey inward without a quick and easy fix. You don’t

know how or when or what the destination will look like on the other side of the current

pain no matter how much you try to curate it to make it work in your favor. The journey is

inevitable. When we avoid this deep complexity within , the more off path and further

away we move from our true selves. Thus, the more expensive it becomes to get back

home to the self. Holding onto the outdated version to starve off pain is like carrying a

weight that is building muscles but straining your heart to depletion.

    

    Eventually you have decide what is more important: building muscle or saving your

heart? Holding on the pain too long is dangerous for your mental and physical health

We have to meet ourselves wherever we are and show ourselves love and grace within

our own timeframe. Most importantly, realizing that endings only make way for new

beginnings. That chapter of your life is still there and it mattered you are just recognizing

It was time to turn the page.